Are They Jealous of Your New Body?

Are They Jealous of Your New Body?

You''ve given up most of those high-calorie foods you used to love. Exercisedevery day, even when you didn''t feel like it. And finally, it''s all paying off:You''re edging toward your weight loss goal -- and looking pretty terrific!

At the same time, you''ve encountered what seems like a surprising lack ofenthusiasm from some of your family and friends -- maybe even your partner --about your new look.

As unusual as this may seem, experts say it''s actually quite common toreceive some unexpected reactions when you dramatically change yourappearance.

"Human beings are hard-wired to resist change, so it''s not uncommon toencounter some resistance whenever change occurs," says John McGrail, a LosAngeles clinical hypnotherapist and behavior expert.

Complicating matters further: When we accomplish a goal -- particularlysomething as difficult as losing weight -- it may serve to remind friends andfamily of their own failed attempts. That, too, can spark a negativereaction.

"In some ways, your weight loss becomes a symbol of their inability toaccomplish their goals, so they may begin to act resentful -- or even mean --oftentimes without even realizing they are doing so," says Christian Holle,PhD, an assistant professor of psychology at William Patterson University inWayne, N.J.

If their goals happened to also involve weight loss, the resentment(especially from friends) can be doubly strong.

"You may find that they are suddenly excluding you from activities,saying mean things, taunting you about your new body or even your new clothes-- all born of resentment about not being able to achieve their own weight lossgoals," says Warren Huberman, PhD, a psychologist who often counselspatients in conjunction with the New York University Program for SurgicalWeight Loss.

What''s more, Huberman says, when you experience that resentment, it''s notuncommon to have a "knee-jerk reaction" yourself and to pull away inanger and hurt. But this is the last thing you want to do.

"You have to think about how you would feel in a similar situation, ormaybe how you felt when others lost weight and you couldn''t," Hubermansays. "Try to put yourself in the place of the person who didn''t win thelottery, so to speak, and you''ll see that the resentment is all about them andnot about you."

Love, Sex, and Weight Loss

For many folks, the decision to lose weight is met with an enthusiasticresponse -- particularly from intimate partners. Most relish the idea of havinga healthier, happier (not to mention hotter-looking) significant other.

But sometimes, even the most encouraging partner can turn into aless-than-stellar supporter once the weight loss actually begins to show.

The reason: Your newfound good looks might be encouraging some formerlywell-hidden insecurities in your partner.

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